An ancient Korean book tells a little story.
A prime minister named Huang Xi, traveling in disguise, passed by a field and sat down to rest.Seeing a farmer with two oxen plowing, he asked the farmer, “Which of these two oxen is better?”The farmer looked at him and said nothing.When the field was tilled and the cow grazed, the farmer stuck to Huang Xi’s ear and whispered, “I tell you, the cow on the other side is better.”Huang Xi is very strange, ask, why to use so small voice to speak?”The farmer replied,” An ox, though a brute, has the same heart as a man.If I say out loud that this cow is good and that this cow is bad, they will be able to distinguish my comments from my eyes, gestures, and voice. A cow that, despite its best efforts, is still not good enough, will feel sad…
Think of people, think of children, think of youth.
No ox, however wise, is more sensitive and wise than a well-developed man, or even a sensible child.Compared with the farmer who is considerate to the cow, is it true that being a man, being a leader and having the right to judge others in the world often neglects a soothing to the soul in the moment of praise or criticism?
Parents often think that children are no or lack of self-esteem, casually shouted at them, for a little fault, nagging.On any occasion, and in the presence of any one, he spoke as freely as he could, and paid no attention to the endurance of his little child.As long as it is good medicine, no matter how bitter it is, the child should swallow it without discoloration or heart beating. The more painful the child is, the more impressed he is by the education and the more effective it can be.
Such parents are wrong.
The only thing holding people back from repeating the mistakes of the past is introspective self-esteem and self-control.Its essence is a kind of treasure to oneself and respect to others, it is to obey and obey the public law of the society.If a child has lost his dignity in the endless psychological torture since childhood, no matter how professional his education will be in the future, it is difficult to make up for the dark and incomplete psychology, and there is a huge crisis lurking in his personality.
People often think that only criticism needs to pay attention to the occasion, if praise, at any time under any circumstances is appropriate, this is also a mistake.
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