Do you remember how you felt when you just joined a new group?
If it is a real acquaintance, such as a group of classmates or friends, it must be full of excitement, with endless stories and jokes.
If it’s someone you don’t know in your life, it’s a huge online dating platform, taking advantage of the fact that we don’t know each other!Feel free to chat.
But over time, the group of people more and more, we are more and more indifferent.
My friend Xiao Zhao asked me more than once, “Why do we join more groups now, but chat less and less people?”
01 meaningless message “refresh”
“Sometimes I wake up in the morning with 99+ messages on my phone.”
We find that there are always three types of people in group chats:
One kind of person is active in all kinds of groups, as if he is chatting with everyone, and has the power to control the hot news.
Someone add group diving, always say nothing, as if any dynamic has nothing to do with me, add group just for “add group”.
And then there are those who “lurk” for a long time, silently grasping the dynamics of groups, sometimes speaking up, sometimes disappearing.
Most of us fall into the latter two categories.
Most of us also forget why we joined the group in the first place.
Or an event for the school, like freshman season;Or to achieve a goal, such as learning group, training group, weight loss group;Or just inexplicably pulled into a variety of preferential groups, thumb up group, in the face of others embarrassed to withdraw.
Then, from the boring memes to the various gags and nonsense, the group built 99+ buildings with ease.
If you’re free and want to plug in to a group chat, you’ll have to do something suffocating — climb a building.From the original message to the latest one, found more useless information.
You’re so bored by the barrage of messages from refresh that you opt for “don’t disturb messages”.
The relationship is gone. Nothing to talk about
“There are more and more groups, and fewer and fewer people.”
It seems that modern people always like to have nothing to build a group, which is called “bonding feelings”.So groups of students, work groups, family groups have sprung up, and sometimes the same group of people due to one or other different purposes, as if copied into several groups.
The group was indeed popular for a time because it broke the limits of time, place and so on.
My friend Lobular told me that some time ago she was pulled into the junior high school class group. At the very beginning, someone sent a photo of her graduation that year in the group. After a few years, we were all very excited, chatting and reminissing about the past, making fun of the embarrassing things in the past and asking about the recent situation.
What else?Good relationship, daily contact can still talk a few words, those have not eight, some even can not remember the name and appearance, really do not know what to talk about.
We are both far away from each other, and we live in totally different circles, even without any overlap. You can’t pick up my words, and I don’t know what to talk to you. As time goes by, fewer and fewer people are chatting.
Here comes another “slam” — someone in the group has started a class reunion.Lobular complained to me that he could not understand the psychology of such people. Maybe he just wanted to get together, but someone needed to think of a reason to refuse, no matter how hard he tried and how polite he was.
Life is too busy to waste meaninglessly
“Three delusions in life: mobile phone vibration, I can kill, she likes me.”
At the beginning of her freshman year, Xiaoyi was full of enthusiasm for everything. She never refused any group of freshmen, social groups and chatting groups. She was able to talk about everything anywhere and anyone.
“I now have 80 groups in QQ, which once numbered more than 100, but now I have about 10 who regularly participate in chatting.”
‘I realize now,’ she says, ‘that there aren’t so many people who like to watch you clowning around and talking nonsense. You turn a group conversation into a’ live room ‘for several people.In addition, some group chats have no taboos, so it is easy to get involved in different complicated interpersonal relationships, which is really tiring to deal with and also affects my mood.
Later junior year, small yi’s study and student work more and more busy, school activities are also a lot of, wake up every day, the most afraid is to see the news 99+, during the day, always have to look at the phone from time to time, worried about missing important things, worried that someone can not find, in fact, the phone did not vibrate.
“I can’t remember when I started getting more and more annoyed by group chats, but then I had an Epiphany that some of them didn’t mean anything to me, just a lot of data junk to clean up.”
We work five to nine hours a day, and our free time is fragmented by group chat messages, as if in a panic of being “dominated” for 24 hours a day.
We may find some groups annoying, but worry about “this group may be useful in the future”, “other people pull me in not easy to exit” and other ideas, our chat software into a “data messaging station.”
If you are like-minded and have a good conversation, stay with this group.
If I can’t bear to disturb it, why bother, plain occupy alone space.
“After deleting and exiting, you will no longer receive messages from this group.
Instead of taking the trouble to set up do not disturb, dry simply choose to see you again.