To hear the child’s heart is the greatest respect for the child
Educator Yin Jianli once said that one day, after watching a TV series with her 3-year-old daughter Yuyuan, she was about to go to bed when her daughter suddenly burst into tears.
What are you crying about?
Yuan Yuan said: “This house is not good, I want to change the house.”
Yin Jianli listen meng: “why want to change the house?”
Yuan Yuan is some anxious, answer at random, but Yin Jianli guides the child to say the idea of the heart patiently however step by step.
It turns out that in the TV play there is a girl’s mother left, the girl happened to have a toy red pot and round circle exactly the same, and red pot appeared in the camera for many times.
So, yuan Yuan mistakenly thought there was a big red basin of the house, mother will leave.
After understanding Yin Jianli explained to the child over and over again, Yuan Yuan stopped crying and fell asleep at ease.
Yin Jianli exclaimed: understand the child’s mind is too important, if adults think the child is not sensible, do not seriously understand what she is saying, a random roar or two, the child’s heart knot can not open, how long he will be distressed and uneasy ah!
Therefore, a little more patience, there will be less misunderstanding;A little more heart, there will be less harm.
The best posture is to squat down and listen
The host, Fang Qiong, once told a story about a time when his son was trying to go to the mall, but before long, the boy became so angry that he wanted to go home.Fang Qiong did not understand, then let the child cry.
Later, squat down and children reason, this just found: dazzling shopping malls, in the eyes of his son is a non-stop leg.
Sometimes, a lot of communication problems between parents and children, often because we listen to the high ground, think that the child said is a small problem.
In fact, squat down, stand in the child’s perspective to see the world, to really hear his heart.
American psychologist Dehua Thorndike said: parents only stand in the child’s point of view to see the problem, in order to understand the child’s psychological needs, in order to reduce the conflict with the child, to win the trust of the child.
Listen to your child as an individual.
When he was a child, we would bend down and see the world through his eyes, so that we could understand him better.
When he grew up, we put down the authority of your parents and put ourselves in his shoes, so that we could understand him better.
What we bend is not the waist and put down is not the authority, but an “arch bridge” to shorten the psychological distance with children. Although it is bent, it is resistant to pressure.
We don’t have to be perfect parents to be good parents.
We don’t have to be talking parents, but we can be trusted parents.