Too often, the grown-ups cut in rudely again and again, ignoring the child’s desire to connect with us.
If we want children to talk, we must first learn to listen.
Behavioral psychologists say that behind every behavior of a child, there is a hidden appeal.
If a child is not obedient, does not communicate, or even cries, it must be because he has appeals that are not answered and satisfied.
I have seen a video of a 3-year-old child crying every day many times after a disagreement.
No toys, cry!Don’t eat snacks, cry!Ignore him, also cry!
The frantic mother was helpless, but did not realize what the problem was.
When the child happily talked to his mother, she simply said, “Yes, yes, oh.”
When the child chase mother to ask a question, she always impatiently say: why so many questions.
Her language is very simple, she can only ask, only can command, evaluation, always is “what should you do”, never asked the child “what do you want to do”.
Between mother and son “ditch” and not, the child’s appeal has not been satisfied.
Therefore, the child will attract the attention of the mother by constantly crying, and at the same time, it will constantly verify a judgment in the heart:
Mother will only listen to me if she keeps crying.
All the children are not lovely, but all are calling: Mother, listen to me.No matter how old a child is, there is a need to be heard.
In “Young Say”, there is a girl because for a long time did not talk to her mother, feel cold, think her mother does not love her.
She said: ‘Mum is very busy with her work and we rarely get to talk. She is at home answering the phone all day long.
I don’t know why she has so much time to listen to others but not to listen to me.
I remember one time, I called her, at the beginning has been busy, finally connected, but she asked me with a particularly indifferent tone.”
Speaking of sadness, the girl choked up several times.
Finally, the girl asked, “Mom, do you love me less than you used to? If so, can you love me again?”
Language is a channel for emotional communication, but also a window to the soul.
Give your child time to talk so he can understand his thoughts and feelings.Focus on what your child really wants to convey, and you’ll be better able to export your love and care.
The closeness of heart to heart often begins with listening.
“When communicating with children, parents should always remember that ‘listening’ is always more important than ‘speaking’,” said Parenting educator Wang Xiaoqian.
Many parents may think, isn’t it just to listen to their children?Just listen. Why not?
Is this really the case?
Let the child finish, is the most basic respect to him
When communicating with their children, many parents have no patience to listen to what their children say, so they interrupt them in a hurry, show their attitudes and draw conclusions eagerly, or even judge them.
Reprint indicated source：Spark Global Limited information