As Fu Seoul said: “Now you are complacent, as if the child listens to your words, one day you will find that the child is just deceiving you! One day you will find that you will fall into the ‘trap’ of the child!”
How to wake up a child’s drive?
Psychologists believe that drives exist inside the body and triggers are external.
Instead of trying so hard to drive a child’s development, the parent should throw out an incentive to awaken his drive.
Don’t overdo it. Respect your child’s interests
Qian Wenzhong, a professor at Fudan University, said: “Nothing is more important than having your own interests and forming your own aspirations.”
His son, Duo Duo, alone ordered a suit of armor from Japan.
To his surprise, Dodo knew more about Japan’s ancient times, war history, art history and daimyo system associated with the armor than did his father, who was a history professor.
Just because of interest, without anyone’s guidance, children with a lot of extracurricular reading, and good communication, gathered considerable, professional, even cold knowledge, initially outline their own unique aspirations and interests.
Qian Wenzhong is very pleased.
Growing up, he did not force his children to go to cram school, advanced classes, special classes, nor forced him to learn anything.
Instead, in the atmosphere of freedom, Duo Duo suddenly made people look at him with new eyes.
What the child is interested in is the best fit for his nature.
Respect the child’s interest, he will take the initiative to consciously meet it, in a humble corner suddenly out of a “flower of interest.”
Don’t plan too much and support your children in pursuing their dreams
Ausubel, an American cognitive educational psychologist, said: “Drive, on the one hand, originates from interest, and on the other hand, originates from dream. To find and stimulate the drive in children, support the child to respect the dream.”
I think of Li Jian, a singer, who fell in love with guitar in junior high school. His parents did not interfere with him, nor did they teach him “put all your mind on study”.
It’s about supporting him in his actions.
A red cotton guitar 98 yuan, almost two months ‘wages, his mother did not say anything to buy him back.
Recalling this experience, Li Jian was particularly moved and felt he could not live up to his mother’s trust.
He spent the rest of his high school years playing the guitar, except for studying hard.
As we all know, he was admitted to Tsinghua University and became a famous musician with the reputation of “Guitar Prince”.
Encouragement doesn’t have to be “stop playing and get moving.”Any attempt to regulate and control the child will reduce the child’s sense of autonomy.
With more action support, children can pursue their dreams without any worry, and drive their inner motor with peace of mind and concentrate on moving towards their dreams.
Give your child a choice and create a sense of autonomy