The child is not obedient is not terrible, terrible is the inner “endurance” has not been stimulated.
The child whose drive is inspired will be brave and fearless and indomitable.
External drive, bring more is internal consumption
Xu Jingkai in the variety show “Dear Little Desk”, his concentration is very poor, and he often absently does his homework.
All his interest in learning comes from his mother’s external drive.
In addition to school work, his mother gave him two huang Gang exam papers every day, plus a reading.
A lot of homework takes up his room for growth.
The first thing he does after washing himself every morning is to do papers.
After finishing the meal, I left the table and went to the desk to continue doing the paper.
Do paper in the morning, do paper in the evening, have no play all day, personal time is compressed to the extreme.
How he longed to catch his breath!
What are your friends playing outside?That sounds like a good laugh.
What funny thing happened to them?I really want to go out.
Everyone is playing, I am doing paper, I really want to give up ah…
He seems to be active and conscious, but his mind is wholly away from his studies.
He was forced to sit there, straining his ears to hear the frolicking sound outside, while doing papers absent-mindedly, with poor concentration.
The most unexpected is, in other children are obediently write homework, always sensible Xu Jingkai is the worst of the self-consciousness, see a new guest to come, several times sneak out to peek.
Psychologist Li Xue said: External drive can also drive a person, but it brings feelings of struggle, pain and internal consumption.People who rely on external drive support, energy is difficult to last, sooner or later will encounter counterbite.
If a child is forced to do something, he may be obedient, but he will certainly be rebellious.
Because he is constantly in between “listening to his parents” and “obeying himself”, the inner conflict and internal attrition make the exhausted child lose his concentration and perseverance.
Worse, when children are young, they may temporarily submit to parental authority on the surface.
But when he grows up and is out of his parents’ control, he will lose it completely.
As Fu Seoul said: “Now you are complacent, as if the child listens to your words, one day you will find that the child is just deceiving you! One day you will find that you will fall into the ‘trap’ of the child!”