Growing up children, there are always a lot of strange problems.They like to ask questions because they are curious about the unknown world.
In the face of their children’s problems, many parents are always careless and perfunctory, or even contemptuous, destroying their children’s precious desire to explore and missing the opportunity of enlightenment.
Chen Meiling, a mother who sent her three sons to Stanford University, has a secret to her parenting philosophy: Ask more questions to train her children’s ability to think independently.
At the same time, she encourages her children to ask questions of themselves. Even when cooking in the kitchen, she will turn off the fire at the first time and go with her children to find the answers to the questions.
When we ask children “Do you have a good question”, we aim to make children have a skeptical and critical attitude towards classroom knowledge and everything, so that they can think in two sides.
Because this turns into curiosity, which turns into interest, which enriches one’s life experience, and this ability can’t be developed overnight.
If parents blindly “indoctrinate”, not only will replace the child’s thinking, but also will constrain the child’s mind and soul.
As Mr. He Xiongfei, a book planner who focuses on family education, said:
“First, the elite are people who ask questions;
Second, elites are problem-solvers;
Third, elites are people with ideals.
Fourth, the elite are intelligent people.”
It can be seen that the most important thing for a child is to ask good questions and seek answers, because the ability to think is the core of all children’s development and the most powerful wing for the dream to take off.
“Is there anything new in class today
Can you teach me?”
There are a lot of parents who like to ask their children in a bossy way:
‘Have you been a good boy at school today!Did you learn anything?Tell me about it! ‘
In the eyes of young children, this is more of a kind of “interrogation”, the parents stand on the highest point of authority, give the child natural strong sense of pressure, communication with parents is not fun, naturally reluctant to open their mouths.
In order to carry out parent-child co-learning, Jews have developed a set of “Jewish tutoring method”. The key of the whole method is to “let children teach parents”.
While the child usually only has to listen to the teacher at school, jewish tutoring gives the child the opportunity to teach, maximally restoring the child’s self-confidence.
Just imagine, a child comes home from school and is criticized and criticized by his parents because he does not recite the knowledge points well in class. As a result, he becomes more pliant and dare not express himself.
And another child, because of the respect and encouragement of his parents, is also like a teacher to teach students to “teach” their parents, so the child will be more active in learning?
Not only that, but he also gets a sense of “competence” and an appreciation from his parents for working hard for a skill or learning goal.
Great oaks grow from little acorns. In education, as in architecture, the foundation is the most important thing, and that is the hardest part to rework.
We should learn to encourage our children tenderly and intelligently, to build the solid foundation of their own lives.
“Are you having any trouble and need our help?”
The meaning of this question is one, we express unconditional love for our children, we care if the child is in trouble, we protect the child’s sense of belonging.
Send a message to your child that your parents will always be your best bet.
The second is to guide children to solve problems independently and think about solutions, which is what we really need to teach our children.
As an American father named John Roberts said to his son at his graduation,
“I hope that in the years ahead you will be treated unfairly from time to time, so that you will understand the value of justice.
I hope that being ignored from time to time makes you realize the importance of listening to others.
I hope you suffer just enough to learn empathy.”
We want our children to experience the feeling of “not being successful” by occasionally being unlucky and frustrated, so that they can realize how difficult it is to be successful.
Mistakes and difficulties are opportunities for a child to grow.
But in real life, there is a kind of helicopter parent that hovers over a child to remove any obstacles at the first sign of a problem.
Broomstick parents, on the other hand, are more intelligent, showing up only when the child has a serious problem, to help clear his or her mind, or try not to interfere.
Discipline is not the same as doing everything, and letting go is not the same as letting go. Parents need to strike a delicate balance between letting go and discipline so that their children can truly become adults.
What is education?
“Education is the lighting of a fire, not the filling of a pail.”
In the current environment of educational anxiety, parents only require their children to learn and make progress,
The rest of the activities are arranged by the parents, who then take the children around to win compliments and praise along the way.
It is only when we see the child alone in the face of the world that we realize:
“A borrowed fire cannot light a child’s heart.”
We should constantly reflect on whether there are healthier and smarter ways to educate ourselves.
Measuring your child’s growth shouldn’t be just a good report card and a thick stack of awards. It should be just a piece of paper that gets lost in the rain.
Education is more subtle, after school a few words of greetings and exhort can be transformed into the invisible spiritual wealth of the child’s life, support him all the way, all the way forward.
We also firmly believe that only by improving children’s personality and cultivating their ability to get along with the society,
Stimulate children infinite curiosity and drive, cast a tough and brave heart, the child can grow up on the road to go more magnanimous, broad, long.