“Zhuangzi” said: “the son is not a fish, know the joy of fish.
This means don’t try to make assumptions about people without knowing them well, let alone making judgmental comments about them.
There is a public service advertisement in Thailand.
A very fierce woman went to the vegetable market to collect rent. As soon as she entered the market, she shouted at a peddler to pay the rent in time.
Then he walked up to a butcher’s stand, grabbed the scales from the butcher’s shop, and threw them on the ground.
Then the conductor took all the goods of a female stall owner away.
The bullying was recorded and posted online by citizens present.
In less than three days, it was viewed more than 10,000 times.
The video has sparked outrage, with netizens accusing the woman of being dishonest and calling for her to stop buying food at the market.
It didn’t take long, however, for other vendors in the wet market to come forward and help her clarify:
It turned out that the hawker who was scolded by his wife for timely payment of rent had been in arrears for several months;
The butcher’s shop had been thrown down because they had been short of weights for a long time, and the landlady was giving them a stern warning;
Let a person take away the goods of female stall owner, also be because see her life not easy, oneself pay to buy her goods, let her be able to continue to run this the small stall that their family lives.
The surrounding crowd just saw the surface of the matter, do not know the whole truth, they followed the crowd to speculate and comment in vain, let the landlady suffered injustice.
In life, there are many such people and things.
Seeing only a fraction of the truth, jumping to conclusions, attacking and judging others, leaving others deeply hurt by verbal violence.
Wang Xiaobo, a contemporary Chinese writer, said:
“Foaming at the mouth, making big value judgments about others, low on the hierarchy.”
Don’t talk about other people’s affairs until you understand them, let alone jump to conclusions. This is the greatest cultivation a person can achieve.
It’s like Andy’s line from Ode to Joy:
“You may have different opinions, but you have no right to throw stones.”
Everyone has his own life and choice, as observers, no matter what we should not judge others’ lives.
Do not say, is a kind of wisdom
Good philosophy of life, are about a “sense of proportion”.
In dealing with people, it is not about being tactful and worldly, but about the wisdom of respecting others, taking into account their feelings and making each other comfortable.
The thinker Zhang Binglin was once in financial trouble and had no choice but to ask his friends for help.
So the friend went to Suzhou alone, and after some innocuous pleasantries, folded a money ticket and secretly pressed it under the tea bowl to save Zhang Binglin’s face.
The friendship is better cemented by both offering a helping hand and putting yourself in a friend’s shoes to save face and avoid the embarrassment of accepting a handout.
Seeing through is wisdom;Not to speak thoroughly, is the mind.
Behind it is a proper sense of proportion, is the embodiment of life experience and self-restraint, but also can stand in the perspective of the other side of the world wisdom.
The writer Jia Pingwa also wrote a story about a friend.
Friends have a stammer, speak slowly, one day on the road met someone asked the way, but this man is also a stammer, the friend will not say a word.
When I asked him later why he didn’t say so, he replied:
“He stuttered too, and if I answered, he thought I was mimicking a joke.”
Words speak from the heart. People speak not just because they have a high EQ, but because they have someone else on their mind.
In say and do not say between revealed the conduct of the upbringing, considerate and careful, you can see a spot.
Every man has a mouth that speaks but does not speak;A great speech does not make one right;There are times when foaming at the mouth is no better than a well-timed silence.
It’s hard to speak, and it’s even harder to decide what to say or not to say.
We are all alive in the hope that we can remain kind, speak rationally, be silent at the right time, and grasp the dimensions of being human.