A truly mature person, is not based on their own three views, to one-sided measure of the right and wrong of others, nor is it a standard to interfere with the choice of others.
On the contrary, they are able to respect and be considerate of the feelings and emotions of others while standing their ground.
In life, we like to prove ourselves right and others wrong.
A truly emotionally intelligent person understands that the most important thing in convincing others is not to argue with them, but to make them feel comfortable.
Carnegie once told a story.
A few years ago, a headstrong and argumentative Irishman named O ‘Hare attended one of his workshops. He was not very well educated, but he liked to argue and pick holes in others.
He had been a driver and a salesman for a car company. He worked day and night at this job, but his performance was not very good, so he came to Carnegie for help.
After talking with him, Carnegie discovered that his fatal flaw in selling cars was that he often argued with customers.
So Carnegie was in no hurry to teach him how to talk. Instead, he trained him to talk less and avoid arguments.
O ‘Hare later became a successful salesman, he has also told his own success story.
For example, when he walks into a customer’s office, he says something like,
“What?White cars?That car is no good. I wouldn’t take it for free.The truck from Hu Xue looks good. I’m going to buy it.”
After listening to the customer’s words, he did not object or argue, but also followed the other side’s words:
“Man, you’re right. Hu Xue’s truck is really good.
If you buy theirs, I’m sure it won’t go wrong.Hu Xue is the product of a big company and its salesmen are very capable.”
This relieved the customer of his resistance and he was able to find an opportunity to introduce the advantages of the White.
After they get along well with each other, customers can compare with him calmly and finally choose to buy cars from him.
Franklin once said:
“Argumentation and rebuttal may lead you to victory, but the victory will be fleeting and illusory.
The one thing you never get is the affection you have for someone else.”
In fact, no matter you want to do anything, you must learn to be a man first.
Most of the time, we don’t support a person who always contradicts himself, but we give more credit to someone who truly respects himself.
There is a saying: “change oneself is god, change others is insane.
Sometimes, we often try to change others according to our own habits and values. In fact, only by respecting others’ differences can we get along more harmoniously.
On the contrary, the more powerful you are, the more likely you are to distance yourself from each other, and the more paranoid you are, the more likely you are to cause a bigger rift in your relationship.
In the TV series “Ode to Joy”, Qu Xiaoxiao is the second generation of rich people. She is very active and likes lively social activities.
But Dr. Zhao was born in a senior intellectual family, is a young doctor, very quiet, usually the biggest interest is reading and listening to classical music.
Qu Xiaoxiao, an enthusiastic woman, once went to see symphonies she didn’t like, plays she found very boring, and even studied for an MBA for Dr. Zhao.